


Monokura joins the Hot Topic Krew

by xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx



Category: Hot Topic Krew - Fandom, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Crack, Demons, Fat Shaming, Goths, Hot Topic Krew, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, M/M, Mall Goths, Not Serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-19 07:25:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9425618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx/pseuds/xXM0n0chromeNimbusXx
Summary: Monokura is sent by a friend to investigate the HTK, and she bribes them with money, and of course, Capri Sun to let her join.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GeneralDarkPit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeneralDarkPit/gifts), [MerchantAnna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerchantAnna/gifts).



> I've had this idea on my mind for quite some time, so here you fuckers are.

**The Credits Theme from Hotel Mario plays**

One day, Monokura was walking down the street. She was wearing what she usually wore. The leather jacket with the giant bow at the back, the giant oversized hood with the white lace lining, and belted corset, her white shorts with the black butt-veil thing lined with hot pink frills, and the thigh-high stiletto boots with the garters, which were also line with lace, this time with a matching black, complete with an edgy spiked collar, since she thought it was the most gothic thing ever, and to be honest, it kinda was.

A lot of preps stared at her. She put up her middle finger at them.

She continued walking, sipping her coffee that she had bought at Starbucks because her hipster pussy friend Jeremy pressured her to. Who am I kidding? Kura would NEVER be freainds with a piece of shit like that.

“Who THE FUCK PUTS SOY IN THEIR COFFEE?” she yells, giving up on trying to drink the gross overpriced coffee and pouring it out on the street.

She was sent by a friend to investigate an “organization” known only as “the HTK”. It gave her a chance to meet some of her old friends; some of them preppy bitches she never liked, like Roy; from Smash.

Monokura wondered why she was still walking. She could have just flown there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**The Credits Theme from Hotel Mario stops, and then Reading the Letter plays after it.**

It took kura much less time just flying to the supposed headquarters. She went up to the door, giving it a few knocks.

“Who's there?” Dark Pit said from inside.

“It's Monokura! You know, Kura?”

The emo Pit opened the door. “Oh OK.”

“I came here to gather intel from this Hot Topic Krew group. Do you know anything about it, Kuro?”

“Kuro” was a nickname given to Pittoo by Kura back during the Smash days, since she thought “Dark Pit” was too hard on the tongue, and she knew he hated the name “Pittoo”.

“Why? ARE YOU A SPY SENT BY THOSE FILTHY FUCKING PREPS?”

“No. Fuck them. I came here to learn about where you all are now. That's all.”

“K. Well, anyways, I'm the leader. Now we don't want any spies here. Just go!”

“I'm telling you! I'm not!” Monokura says. “Now...here's a little something that might change your mind...” the goth succubus continues, taking off her black gothic backpack and pulling out TONS of Capri Sun, the favored drink of the krew. “Here's an offer you cant POSSIBLY refuse. If you let me join, I'll give you ALL of this Capri Sun and fifty bucks.”

Dark Pit stared in awe. “Where did you get all of this?”

“Off a little friend of mine. I was sure to get lots of every kind!” Monokura giggled, showing off her trademark smile which scared the preps to death, but the goths weren't affected since they were too hardcore to be affected by something like that. “So, now that I've convinced you, can I join?”

“Sure, whatever. But I'll know if you're a preppy spy!”

“I'm not! But, thanks, Kuro.”

“Quit it with that weeb shit!”

“Okay, fine...Dark Pit.” Monokura grumbles before her mood changed drastically. “Now, what should I call myself? I know!” 

**Reading the Letter stops, and then the Gusty Garden Galaxy music from Super Mario Galaxy plays**

Monokura smiled, performing the same dance used to activate a Darkium Z. “MONOKURA, THE BARD!”

“Great! Since you've proven yourself, welcome to the krew!” Dark Pit gave Kura a lazy handshake. “Let me introduceyou to the team. C'mon out, everybody! We have a new recruit and I want you all to meet her!”

Seconds later, they all came out, Cia being the last to show up because as everyone knew, she was fat and lazy.

“You already know, but I'm Dark Pit, the leader!”

“Lucas, the general. He's my boyfriend~”

The rest introduced themselves rather than Dark Pit doing it.

“OW, THE EDGE!” Shadow shouts.

“Mewtwo! I take lives away!”

Monokura was surprised the Pokemon was involved in this fray.

“And...um...whoever that fat chick is.” Dark Pit said.

Cia, as usual, didn't take this well. “I'M NOT FAT! I'M JUST BIG-BONED! I'm Cia! The fucking tactician!” Cia pushed Dark Pit out of the way. “And then there's Lucina—”

“Lucina?”

“—the female, and Luigi, the green machine. And Wolf, who does whatever the fuck he wants.”

“Well, then. It's nice to meet you all. I'm Monokura. The bard!” the demon says, swaying her hips. “One question, Cia. You're a girl too. Why does Lucina get 'Lucina, the female'?”

“Cia doesn't count. She's an entirely different species.” Dark Pit siad.

“Because she's fat—?”

“Because she's fat.”

_Shoulda known._

“I have Capri Sun. Lots of it. It's good shit.”

And so, they all did goth stuff and plotted to kill the preps and save Hot Topic and Capri Sun, all while Wolf licked his own ass because that's what dogs do.

-END-


End file.
